FUNNY SHORT JOKE 001 Terrible Jokes

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Terrible Jokes

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Pumpkin
A man was driving home late one night,on a lonely road and is
feeling terribly attractive.
As he's passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander,
He says to himself, "Ya know,a pumpkin is soft and squashy within,
and there's nobody around for miles."
He pulls over to the facet of the road, picks up a pleasant juicy
looking pumpkin,
cuts the acceptable size hole in it,and begins to try and do the pumpkin.
Very shortly he's extremely into it,and he does not notice a patrol
car pull up.
The cop walks over and says,"Excuse American state sir,but does one understand that
you are shag a pumpkin?"
The guy appearance at the pumpkin in complete horror, thinks quick and
says, "
A pumpkin? Ohio My God,is it hour already?"
By Tom P

Restricted fishing space
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband likeable to fish at
the crack of dawn; his spouse most well-liked to scan.
One morning the husband came back once many hours of fishing and determined
to take a nap.
The wife, to flee her snoring husband, determined to require the boat out.
Since she wasn't conversant in the lake, she rowed intent on the center,
anchored the boat, and began reading her book.
Along came the law officer in his boat. He force up aboard and aforesaid, "Good
morning, ma'am. What area unit you doing here?"
"Reading a book," she replied, thinking, "Is this guy blind or what?"
"You're in a very restricted fishing space," he au courant her.
"But, Officer, i am not fishing. you'll be able to see that, surely."
"But you have got all the instrumentation, ma'am. i am going to need to write you up."
"If you are doing that, i'll charge you with rape," came back the ireful lady.
"But i have never even touched you," the law officer objected.
"That's true; however you have got all the instrumentation."

THE MORAL: ne'er argue with a girl WHO reads.
By Tom P

SAM and HARRY
Two aged gentlemen, SAM and Harry, were having breakfast. SAM aforesaid to Harry,
"Harry, why does one have a medicine in your ear?"

Harry took the medicine out, looked it over and aforesaid, "Sam, i am extremely glad
you saw this factor, currently i feel i do know wherever my hearing aid is."
By Steve

SANWA

Once there was a American state business man. His boss was over in Japan at the instant
and because there was a gathering he went over to Japan.
Once he got there his boss sent him a key for a sleeping room, and and woman to possess sex with.
That night once they had sex, the woman unbroken speech,"Sanwa! Sanwa!"
The man thought she was speech,"Good! Good!"
The next day once the meeting, the boss and his govt and also the Texan had a game of golf.
After the manager created a hole in one the Texan was there screaming, "Sanwa Sanwa"
and the govt aforesaid,"What does one mean wrong hole?!"
By AZN1357
Sex
A little boy returning home from his initial day in school aforesaid to his mother,
"Mom, what is sex?" His mother, WHO believed all told the foremost trendy instructional
theories, gave him an in depth rationalization, covering all aspects of the tough
subject. once she had finished, the tiny lad made associate enrollment kind that
he had brought home from faculty and aforesaid, "Yes, however however am I progressing to get all
that into this one very little square?"
By Steve

SIX WISHES
A guy is strolling on a sandy beach in the future once he comes across
a very previous bottle. he is simply dusting it off once 2 rather tired wanting
genies start "Two genies!" he exclaims. "That should mean six wishes!"
"Sorry, buddy, it's 3 or nuthin'," say the genies, "and hurry up".
The guy makes his 3 desires and races off home to examine if they've
been granted. He gets home and runs into his sleeping room, wherever he finds
the most beautiful woman he has ever seen looking forward to him.
After hours of mad, passionate sex, he stumbles out of bed and
walks into the lounge wherever he's knee deep in $1000 bills.
The guy will hardly believe his luck.
Just then there's a knock at the door. He rushes over to open it,
when 2 hooded Klan members throw a rope around his neck and string
him up naked till he's dead.
The two then commence their white hoods to reveal that
they are, in fact, the 2 genies, each wanting rather nonplused.
The first djinny turns to the second and says, "I will perceive the
beautiful lady and every one the money within the world,
by why on earth would you wish to be
hung sort of a black man?"
By Steve

SMELL
A man associated lady area unit riding up in an elevator.

The man appearance at the lady and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"

She replies, "Hell no!"

The man says, "Well, it should be your feet then."
By Steve

The Bet
Three Friends associate Italian a German and a Greek they determined to bet it's alternative
100 euros WHO goes to create their wives scream a lot of from sex.
So they all get back to possess sex with their wives in order that they build them scream.
The next day the meet.

The Italian says, "I created like to my spouse for two hours and he or she was screaming
for a minimum of one 1/2 hours."

The German says, "That's nothing, I begin licking my
wife for 2 hours and he or she was screaming the full time and 0.5 hour afterward."

The Greek says, " that is nothing, I created like to my spouse for 10 minutes,
I came a handful times I wiped my Dick within the curtain and he or she still screaming."

By Enkon

I was on the subway the opposite day, and therefore the guy next to Maine was crying over a book. He was really crying. So, I leaned over -- i am going, 'You do not know the way to scan, either?'

I'm the stringed instrument guy at the party/I'm the stringed instrument guy and that i suppose i will drink a coke and Bacardi/It would possibly appear as if i am simply having fun, however i am really not, i am making an attempt to get it on your girlfriend/Listen to Maine as I play this song, 'cause i am gonna play it regardless.

I think the cats were gay 'cause they were perpetually licking one another and spooning within the window and criticizing the means I dress. i do not suppose it is a biological factor, like they are gay by birth. i feel it's Associate in Nursing atmosphere factor, like they are 'prison gay.'

I wont to suppose i used to be a bit unstable, and so I met each woman I've ever dated.

It's weird, the war that we're in straight away. I feel unhealthy for the president at this time within the war as a result of it's quite like once your pop decides he is about to build a deck, however he does not shrewdness to create a deck. you are like, 'Well, we tend to love him. We'll offer him the good thing about the doubt.' however 5 years later, there is this pile of adhesive tape and 2x4's hanging off the rear of the house.

I found the curative to the current crazy virus on-line, and that i was ready to create it get away. however once I left the house, my oldsters still insisted on inserting the pc within the corner of the house with the screen facing the wall, just like the laptop had done one thing wrong.