A15 - sexy dirty love sensual romance exotic passion naked French kiss jokes one liners quick blond about women christmas for kids canadian best short pathan in tamil adult hindi mean rajnikanth in telugu clever dick husband and wife non veg in english nerd batman roses are red violets are blue really bad horse fish sexy joke dirty maths old people desi muslim marriage knock knock spanish funny christmas school sms super
Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job. Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks. However, it wasn't his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed. He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for that matter. So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as ... New Ears Day.
EMPIRE STATE BUILDING
Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State
Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know,
last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building,
by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building
are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into
the window."
The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the
bar.
The second guy says, "What are you a nut? There is no way that could
happen." "No, it's true," said the first man, let me prove it to you."
He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him
around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes
the elevator back up to the bar. He met the second man, who looked
quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that
must have been a one time fluke."
"No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again just
as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries
him around the building and into the window.
Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. "Well, what the
hey," the second guy says, "it works, I'll try it!" He jumps over the
balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors
...and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.' Back upstairs the Bartender
turns to the other drinker, saying "You know, Superman, sometimes you
can be a real jerk."
By NetDummy
Engineer
One day, an engineer died and went to heaven. But, St. Peter said
"I can't let you in because your name is not on the list."
So the engineer went down to Hell and was let in.
Well, he stayed there for a couple of days and then decided that,
it was too hot and everything was inaccessible.
So he built flushing toilets, air conditioning, running water and a lot of other things.
One day God calls down and says to Satan,
"So Satan, how's it down there in hell?? " and Satan says:
"Well, it's great, I've got an engineer down here and he has build air conditioning,
running water, flushing toilets, and I don't know what else, he's gonna build next.
Then God asks, "You've got an engineer down there?"
"That's a big mistake, send him up here right now!" and Satan replies,
"No way this is the best thing that's ever happened to hell." and God says,
"send him up or I'll sue!!" and Satan says smirking,
"Now just where are you gonna get a lawyer??"
-By Jessica and Caitlin
FISHERMANTwo men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State
Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know,
last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building,
by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building
are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into
the window."
The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the
bar.
The second guy says, "What are you a nut? There is no way that could
happen." "No, it's true," said the first man, let me prove it to you."
He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the
street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him
around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes
the elevator back up to the bar. He met the second man, who looked
quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that
must have been a one time fluke."
"No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again just
as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries
him around the building and into the window.
Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. "Well, what the
hey," the second guy says, "it works, I'll try it!" He jumps over the
balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors
...and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.' Back upstairs the Bartender
turns to the other drinker, saying "You know, Superman, sometimes you
can be a real jerk."
By NetDummy
Engineer
One day, an engineer died and went to heaven. But, St. Peter said
"I can't let you in because your name is not on the list."
So the engineer went down to Hell and was let in.
Well, he stayed there for a couple of days and then decided that,
it was too hot and everything was inaccessible.
So he built flushing toilets, air conditioning, running water and a lot of other things.
One day God calls down and says to Satan,
"So Satan, how's it down there in hell?? " and Satan says:
"Well, it's great, I've got an engineer down here and he has build air conditioning,
running water, flushing toilets, and I don't know what else, he's gonna build next.
Then God asks, "You've got an engineer down there?"
"That's a big mistake, send him up here right now!" and Satan replies,
"No way this is the best thing that's ever happened to hell." and God says,
"send him up or I'll sue!!" and Satan says smirking,
"Now just where are you gonna get a lawyer??"
-By Jessica and Caitlin
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep
water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The
man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you
a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the
woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the
feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it
was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe
you?"
By Steve C
FLASHER
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your
ticket, not your stub."
By Sopho
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your
ticket, not your stub."
By Sopho
FOREPLAY
Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy.
"Slow down, baby," she said. "Foreplay is an art."
"You better get your canvas ready soon," he panted, "because I'm about to spill
my paint!"
By Steve
Four Star General
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a
Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for
him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the
army," the general said. "Nothing to it - you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's
bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around
the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said,
"OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
By Steve C
Scott finally got his girlfriend into bed, and things were going hot and heavy.
"Slow down, baby," she said. "Foreplay is an art."
"You better get your canvas ready soon," he panted, "because I'm about to spill
my paint!"
By Steve
Four Star General
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a
Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for
him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the
army," the general said. "Nothing to it - you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's
bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around
the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said,
"OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
By Steve C
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