A17 - real true intense affectionate lovers personal passionate free affection daily jokes good clean hindi funny computer kids and riddles mom racist mexican for arab dirty best in hindi valentines day picture april fools adults video engineer joke pictures practical soccer yo moma kannada corny one liner weed haryanvi dyslexic math in english asian sexy lol scottish punjabi religious pinoy tagalog christian long dirty of the day christmas adults doctor doctor paki good office fun childrens children book
Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a nearby table. Toward their end of their meal, one of them got up and produced a camera.
"Hey, wait a minute," one of her companions said. "You have to be in the picture too." When I approached and asked if I could help, the girl who owned the camera was delighted. I snapped a picture of the group and then, being unfamiliar with the camera, I asked her, "Do you want me to take another in case that one doesn't come out?" "Oh, no, that's okay," she chirped innocently. "I always get double prints."
Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when
Ted looks over at his wife and says: "You're butt is getting
really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the
barbecue."
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the
grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured
his wife's bottom. "Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider
than the barbecue!!!" The wife chose to ignore her husband.
Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky.
He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him
off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this
big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
By Ernie M
"Hair Growth"
A gay guy walks into a barber shop.
He says to the barber. "Sir how can I make hair grow on my chest?"
The barber replies, "Go home and put Vaseline on your chest real
thick..."
That night the young man does as the barber told him. His partner
climbs into bed and reaches over to hold him and feels the slime on
his chest..he says, "What the hell is this?"
The other man replies, "The barber told me that if I put Vaseline on
my chest hair would grow..."
His partner replies, "You stupid son of a bitch, if that were the case
you would have a damn pony tail hanging out of your ass."
By Bill K
Hillary
Hilary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that
she's pregnant. She is furious! Here she is about to run for senator of
New York and this has happened to her.
She calls the White House, gets Bill on the phone, and immediately
starts screaming:
"How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on
right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you???!!!
I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is
all your fault!!! YOUR FAULT!!! Well, what have you got to say???"
There is nothing but dead silence on the end of the phone.
She screams again, "DID YOU HEAR ME???!!!"
Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice.
In a barely
audible
whisper, he says, "Who is this?"
By Sopho
"Hundred Bucks".
Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How much for a blow job ?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do you ?"
By Steve
IMPROVEMENT
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop
drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me
how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even
how to invest in the stock market."
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked
his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
By Steve
IRS GUY
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started
massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front
turned and snarled, "Just what the hell are you doing?"
"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a massage therapist and I could see that you
were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help
practicing my art!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the
IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
By Steve C
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started
massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front
turned and snarled, "Just what the hell are you doing?"
"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a massage therapist and I could see that you
were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help
practicing my art!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the
IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
By Steve C
JEWISH GRANDMA
The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided to
send grandma on a cruise. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser.
He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D."
She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.?
He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck."
She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser
there and he said, "I see, that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C."
Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?"
The purser said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin."
Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the
cabin boy and he said,
"Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B."
"B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma.
The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed."
"Oh" she said; "Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful."
Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her
room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she said, "F.U.C.K"
Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", to which she
replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. First U Could Knock!"
By Maria M
real true intense affectionate lovers personal passionate free affection daily jokes good clean hindi funny computer kids and riddles mom racist mexican for arab dirty best in hindi valentines day picture april fools adults video engineer joke pictures practical soccer yo moma kannada corny one liner weed haryanvi dyslexic math in english asian sexy lol scottish punjabi religious pinoy tagalog christian long dirty of the day christmas adults doctor doctor paki good office fun childrens children book and funny jokes