A20 - Best Ever Great Short Clean Funny Humorous Hilarious Stupid Dumb Jokes For Good Silly Laughs Fun Joke And Funniest Laughter nice jokes some funny kids of the day funniest short sms in hindi joke farsi clean for seniors dirty short retard blonde black racist funy big head jokes work hilarious for adults raunchy appropriate monkey british fishing insult white racist dating passionate affectionate intense mate affection glamorous infatuation close warm
Best Ever Great Short Clean Funny Humorous Hilarious Stupid Dumb Jokes For Good Silly Laughs Fun Joke And Funniest Laughter nice jokes some funny kids of the day funniest short sms in hindi joke farsi clean for seniors dirty short retard blonde black racist funy big head jokes work hilarious for adults raunchy appropriate monkey british fishing insult white racist dating passionate affectionate intense mate affection glamorous infatuation close warm and april fool jokes
- Edison
Laughter is that the language of the Gods
- Russ Dudley
Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and part tears
- Unknown
Those who do not know a way to express feelings with their whole heart do not know a way to laugh either.
- Unknown
Blessed is he WHO has learned to kid himself for he shall ne'er stop to be diverted.
- Lord Chesterfield (1694-1773).
Laughter isn't in the slightest degree a nasty starting for a friendly relationship, and it's so much the most effective ending for one.
- Wilde
MONICA ON CNN
The first rattling quote of the century, and one which will well prove
extremely arduous to high...
Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her miraculous
Jenny Craig weight-loss): "I've learned to not place things in my mouth that
are unhealthy on behalf of me..."
Now I raise you, area unit these words to measure by, or what....
By Bill
MONTEREY BAY
When Mr. Wilkins answered the door late within the evening someday
after he'd lost his partner in a very skin diving incident in bay,
he was greeted by 2 grim-faced law enforcement officials.
"We're sorry to invoke you at this late hour, Mr. Wilkins, however we've got some data concerning your partner."
"Well.... tell me!" he demanded.
One of the officers said: "We have some unhealthy news, some pretty excellent news, and a few extremely nice news.
Which does one wish to listen to first?"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkins aforementioned, "Give Pine Tree State the unhealthy news 1st."
So the lawman says: "I'm sorry to possess to inform you this sir,
but we have a tendency to found your wife's body this morning in bay."
"OH MY GOD!" aforementioned man. Wilkins, overcome by feeling.
Then, memory what the officer had aforementioned, he asked, "What's the great news?"
"Well...." aforementioned the officer, "When we have a tendency to force her up,
she had 2 5 pound lobsters and a dozen sensible size Dungeness crabs on her."
"Huh?" he aforementioned, not understanding. So, what is the nice news?"
The officer smiled, licking his chops, and said, "We're getting to pull her up once more tomorrow morning."
By Enkon
Mother's Day
A family was having dinner on day. for a few reason the mother was
unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," aforementioned the lady.
Not shopping for it, he asked once more. "Seriously, what is wrong?"
"Do you actually wish to know? Well, i will tell you. I actually have lyonnaise and clean and
fed the children for fifteen years and on day, you do not even tell Pine Tree State such a lot as
"Thank you."
"Why ought to I?" he aforementioned. "Not once in fifteen years have I gotten a Father's Day
gift."
"Yes," she said, "but i am their real mother."
By Steve
MOVIE THEATER
At the cinema a person detected a missy sitting all by herself.
He was excited to visualize she had each hands underneath her skirt and was fingering herself furiously.
He rapt to consecutive seat to her and offered his facilitate.
She agreed, and also the man started fingering her like the devil.
When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was stunned to visualize her return to figure on herself with each hands.
"Wasn't I sensible enough?" he asked sheepishly.
"You were nice," she said, "but these crabs area unit still itching!"
By Steve
Mr. Jones
An previous man in a very home awoke someday and
trundled down the hall to the community breakfast
room wanting rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, met
him within the hall. She greeted him smilingly and
asked however he was today.
Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; indeed, his
penis had died throughout the night. Ms. Smith knew that
Mr. Jones was often to a small degree off mentally, so
she just replied that she was sorry to listen to the unhealthy
news and went on her means.
The next morning man. Jones was on his thanks to breakfast
again however on today he was wearing a coat and
tie, and his erectile organ was hanging out of his pants. Sure
enough, he met Ms. Smith whereat -- though
somewhat surprised -- she sedately reminded him that the
day before he had told her his erectile organ had died and
asked why it absolutely was hanging out of his pants.
Mr. Jones replied merely, "Today is that the viewing."
By Steve C
NASTY granddad
A 5 year previous boy and his granddaddy area unit sitting on the porch
together, once granddad pulls a brew out of a cooler. the tiny boy asked,
"Grandpa, am i able to have a beer?" granddad replied, "Can your dick bit your
ass?"
The little boy answered no.
Grandpa aforementioned "Then you are not man enough to possess a brew."
A little later granddad lights up a roll of tobacco. the tiny boy asked, "Grandpa,
can I have a cigar?" once more, granddad asked, "Can your dick bit your
ass?" the tiny boy answered no, again. granddad aforementioned, "Then your not man
enough to possess a roll of tobacco." to a small degree later, the tiny boy came out of the
house With a cookie.
Grandpa asked, "Can I actually have a cookie?"
The boy asked "Can your dick bit your ass?"
Grandpa replied, "Hell yea my dick will bit my ass!" The boy replied,
"Then go fuck yourself, grandmother created these cookies on behalf of me."
By Tom P
OFFENSIVE WORLD RECORDS
MOST body fluid engulfed
Michelle Monahan had one.7 pints of body fluid pumped up out of her
stomach in l. a. in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair activity thirty two inches from the
armpits and twenty eight inches from her channel.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of l. a. might, while not preparation,
completely insert a lubricated American football into her
vagina.
ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of rugby football, England, squeezed a zit
and projected a detectable quantity of yellow pus a distance of
7ft one in..
WORST DRINK
The most horrifying drink to be thought-about a liquid and safely
drunk is Khoona. it's drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their
wedding night and consists of atiny low quantity of still-warm terribly recently
attained bull body fluid. it's believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is accessible from some choose bars in the big apple. It
contains juice, a double shot of booze, a containerful of
French mustard and a touch of lime. it's not mixed, however served with a
tampon(unused) rather than a cocktail umbrella and is thought as a 'Cunt Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE earned FOR A JET OF body fluid
Horst Schultz achieved eighteen linear unit nine in with a 'substantial' quantity
of humour. He conjointly hold the records for the best
height(12ft 4in) and also the greatest speed of ejaculation, or speed,
with 42.7mph.
LONGEST feces
The longest dump ever verified was made by associate yank,
who made a 'staggering turd' over a amount of two hour twelve minutes
which was formally measured at twelve linear unit 2in.
The wrongdoer is illegal from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for associate
officially recorded time of two minutes forty two seconds.
By Steve C